Skeptical horoscopes

I love reading my horoscope. I do it most days right after I check my email and the weather forecast (but before facebook.) This is mostly because I have them ordered that way on my bookmark toolbar. I’m orderly. I like that.

Sadly, they’re so often wrong that it’s ridiculous to put any faith in them.

Take today’s:

Horoscope

March 28

Money earned through involvement in the arts, perhaps those combining creativity with computer technology, could come your way, Libra. Financially, you should be doing fairly well, so you might channel what you receive right back into this business. This is an excellent time to do this, as all signs indicate that this sort of activity could be very profitable over the next few years. Go for the gold, and enjoy yourself.

So what happens if the money promised doesn’t show up by midnight? Will the world explode? I suspect not. And evidently I would be plowing it right back into my writing. (I would do this regardless of what a horoscope says.) Meh.

What I find most interesting about horoscopes is the language. It’s very conditional. Could, should, might, indicate, could. Otherwise, there are a few axioms thrown in to fill it out, and a few pieces of general advice. Reinvest. Sure, no problem.

I can choose to take this seriously, but my horoscope is SO often wrong that I can’t.  I’m not expecting money by the end of the day. I don’t win lotteries, either. I did win 10 dollars in Vegas once, on my first slot machine (I’d put in 5 dollars). I quit playing then because I figured I would never be ahead again.

Just like the lottery, it would be nice to believe, but statistics just don’t bear it out.

Add to that the fact that I was born a month early (probably) by C-section. Therefore, I should actually be a Scorpio (a sign known for being skeptical). In fact, you can read this magazine article, which basically turns out to say, more or less, how I feel about the whole thing.

One of my horoscopes today also said “The truth is you do have many loose ends to tie up. It’s hard to concentrate on the “big picture” when you’re wearing your last pair of clean underwear.”

(Yes, I read more than one. It’s fun. I also read my fortune cookies, and the inside wrappers of Dove chocolates. I like words)dove-book

 

(That’s a keeper!)

So I don’t believe what the horoscopes tell me, but I’d like to believe.  I’d like to believe that there’s money coming my way today. I’d like to believe that I’ve got loose ends, but  I did my laundry yesterday, so I know that last pair of clean underwear concern mentioned above isn’t true. I suppose I just have way more Scully in my system than Mulder…

 

One thought on “Skeptical horoscopes

  1. You’re so a Scorpio.

    On Mon, Mar 28, 2016 at 10:31 AM, J. Kathleen Cheney wrote:

    > J. Kathleen Cheney posted: “I love reading my horoscope. I do it most days > right after I check my email and the weather forecast (but before > facebook.) This is mostly because I have them ordered that way on my > bookmark toolbar. I’m orderly. I like that. Sadly, they’re so often wron” >

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